Non-Jews are for practice
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize