just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
His nipple licking is glorious
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