Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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