im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
