Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
