their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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