my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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