I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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