You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
