Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
