Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
