i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
