Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
