sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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