why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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