there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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