I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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