it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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