Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
