I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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