I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
