So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
