I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
