guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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