If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
