I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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