i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
operation harelip BJ is a go
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
