can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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