There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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