oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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