I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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