Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize