I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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