When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
