you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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