She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This is classic penis vs brain.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
