My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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