I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
