K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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