you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
