evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
