i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
