a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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