So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
