allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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