it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I wear drunk well.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
