help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize