Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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