OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
