You can't motorboat a personality
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
