Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize