That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
