i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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