my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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