and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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