Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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