The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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