if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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