plz talk dirty to me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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