One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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