actually, I'm a sock model
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize